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My Night With Barney
Writing Erotica

I'm not sure how many writers write erotica. It's something I enjoy writing about. It allows me an escape from other topics. It renews the womanspirit in me. Or I suppose that would be the wantonspirit in me. Either way, every once in a while I'll be in the mood to write soft sex. What can I say, I'm hooked on writing just about anything.

In the earlier evening, when my husband is asleep and my six year old is winding down but still playing, I'll park myself at the computer. Coffee and all necessities available at close hand, I'll fire up the beast and pull up a fresh document file. I'm ready. And I'm in the mood to write erotica. My six year old is playing fairly quietly and watching TV. So I'm home free at least for a little while.

I begin my piece and work through the intro and on into the "meeting" and initial gropes. I generally remain calm while I write this stuff. It's a rare mood I get when it actually does what it's supposed to do to any degree. Now obviously, I have to have some tidbit of turn on to be able to write erotica. It varies. Depends on my mood from the day, the weather, full moon, etc. You get the picture. It also depends on whether I need my reading glasses to work. Weird eh? No, not weird. These glasses make me feel rather old. I've only had them a few months and don't often need them. If I'm tired or eye-strained, I must don them to work. (Gee, it might not be the glasses at all....ya think?)

By this time, my leading man and woman are smooching passionately and obviously (from their respective POV's) getting right into it. I glance at my six year old and see she's into her program. Ok, I can hit the "climax" of my piece. (Remember, this is soft erotica, so quit thinking pervy.)

"He buries his face in her neck, "inhaling her scent". He kisses her softly and presses his lips harder to hers. She moans into the kiss, her body trembling, her senses reeling....her knees weaken and she pushes against him, kissing him more deeply. He responds for a moment and slowly withdraws from the kiss......looks deep into her eyes and whispers..."you are so beautiful, sensual....I love love me....we're a happy family....o O (HEY!!! WAIT A SECOND!!...)

I shake out of my reverie and see what's on the TV my daughter is no longer paying attention to. That purple dinosaur just kissed my leading lady. How the hell can that happen?

He stands innocently enough beside the youngsters he sings with, that Grand Canyon grin irritating me to no end. I shake my head and try to get back into the mood of the piece I'm writing. I hear the TV announce another episode of Barney coming on. Oh joy, a marathon. How lucky is that?

My characters' interactions get more steamy and intimate (soft erotica folks, stay focused). I let them get on with their business in a timely way. They enjoy each other in a little game of slap and tickle and take their time about it too. I don’t use one naughty word. All innuendos and soft phrasing. All very romantic and sensual. All within the bounds of decent behavior. I bring them closer to their dreams and fantasies. I let them taste the essence of each other in slow degrees. I build the energy between them. I see in my mind’s eye as the man lifts the woman into his arms (after their delicious lovemaking) and carries her to the huge canopy bed. He lays her down gently, reverently as he asks her what she’d like to be when she grows up.

I growl and lunge for the TV off button....and I swear by the gods and muses Barney winked at me.


Copyright 2001 


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